New group for Mums

I am currently setting up a new group specifically for Wivenhoe mums.  This has it's own email group which allows all members to chat or if they prefer to arrange to meet for coffee, go to the park, or maybe a walk etc.  If you are interested in joining or have any questions or suggestions please do contact me.   

Comments

  • Hello Daisy,

    Any scope for dads to join? My husband is the primary carer for our daughter, much as I'd love to meet other parents I am not around in the week. Might you also be meeting up at weekends at any time? 
  • Absolutely no reason not to arrange things for weekends.  Once the group is established then we can ask their opinion on dads

  • Helloglitterjo said:
    Hello Daisy,

    Any scope for dads to join? My husband is the primary carer for our daughter, much as I'd love to meet other parents I am not around in the week. Might you also be meeting up at weekends at any time? 
    My partner and I share the care of our little fella. I'm about Mondays and Tuesday afternoons if your husband would like to meet up?

    I'm not sure how old your daughter is but the Wivenhoe Toddler group on a Tuesday morning is a great place to mix with other parents. I've always been made to feel welcome and included and at no point did anyone have ask anyone how they felt about me being there.
  • So pleased to hear from you all. Just need to figure out if it is possible to please everyone in the time i have available.  I also posted this notice on Wivenhoe Noticeboard on f .  I have several dads keen to join a group as well as several mums interested in the Mums Group.  So watch this space... All views welcome.  :)
  • Hi Daisy,

    I'm glad all views are welcome.

    I responded to your post on the Wivenhoe noticeboard to give my thoughts/views, I see that you have responded to a further post on there but have not responded to me?

    at the time of writing, my post has had 18 'likes', so it has had a degree of recognition.

    I wanted to know why you feel the need for an 'exclusively' mum's group? why would this not be a group for parents?

    my personal ethos is equality and inclusion... however you may have a reason for feeling that a totally separate group is needed. Convince me.

    My partner and I have a 14 month old little fella and we share everything equally in parenting (and life) and we wouldn't have it any other way.

    We have both gone part time with work so that we are able to manage childcare as equally as we can. Although we have the awesome and invaluable help of Grandma, we have been on a steep learning curve  and through being new parents, being relatively new to Wivenhoe we haven't had that many friends or networks locally.

    Being able to meet other parents would be useful for us both and not just for my partner.

    We have some friends and networks in Wivenhoe now, but they've needed nurturing and they've not come as naturally and smoothly as they might have done at other stages in our lives (through pubs, social nights etc...) as being new parents It is quite hard to get 'out and about' and to meet new people as we would have done in the past.

    There's loads of dad's in Wivenhoe who are in similar position (i.e heavily involved in childcare or full time stay at home dad's) ... to run a group that is for only 50% of the community seems a bit old fashioned. I wouldn't want to be part of an exclusively dad's group... I'd be denying myself the opportunity to learn and share from half the community.

    I think that you should have a read of this fantastic blog. When I read it I was so pleased that someone felt this way... it unfortunately reflects some of the experiences that both my partner and I have had locally. a great quote from the blog past is:

    "We need to stop talking about dads like they're an inept accessory to parenting."

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rosie-devereux/dumbass-stuff-we-need-to-stop-saying-to-dads_b_9186948.html ;

    I look forward to your thoughts and response.
  • Dear Just Jones - sorry you think I am ignoring and you have had to write such a long reply, but I did think I had replied above when I said earlier

    "So pleased to hear from you all. Just need to figure out if it is possible to please everyone in the time i have available.  I also posted this notice on Wivenhoe Noticeboard on f .  I have several dads keen to join a group as well as several mums interested in the Mums Group.  So watch this space... All views welcome. "

    I do hope everyone will benefit - mums, dads, kids, grandparents etc.  I am happy to help everyone - just have very limited time and no resources (this is a purely voluntary effort on my part). So as I said before - watch this space.  
     
  • Well done Daisy.  A truly admirable thing to be doing.  Just remember, you can't please everyone all the time but just some people some of the time.
  • If some want to have a women only "mums group" this is unlikely to mean men are considered an inept accessory to parenting.
    From my experience of running groups in the NHS mothers can benefit from talking about themselves rather than focusing on their children, sharing experiences of birth, post natal depression etc. Dads groups can work in the same way, but there tends to be less discussion of sore nipples!
    In a mixed sex group conversation is more "social", or focused on the children. 
    It depends what people want from the group, and Daisy won't know that yet. 
  • Hi Daisy,

    Yes... thanks for your reply on the Forum, however I didn't get an acknowledgement via Facebook Noticeboard where I responded to your post initially.

    You did respond to another Facebook user which made me feel slightly odd and left me feeling that you didn't really want to hear my views?

    I completely understand that you are very community minded and being a catalyst for groups in your own time, which should be applauded and supported. I've heard good things about your walking group for instance.

    I just think that maybe a group for all may be a better outcome!
  • Hi - as you say I run a lot of different groups - and I am sorry to say that I don't have time to answer all emails I receive - I just try to do my best.  Also I am a bit of a novice on Facebook and find it difficult to get to grips with.  I hope if I keep trying to use it I will improve.  Meanwhile I confess I make a lot of mistakes.  However,  I was told about a group called Wivenhoe Parents on Facebook does this perhaps cover what you are looking for as it seems to be a group for all?    
  • There is now. It was called 'Wivenhoe mums'.

    The administrator has followed this discussion and the messages on Facebook.... And probably had thoughts about moving into the 21st century anyway.... So changed the name.

    us active and involved dads will be welcome there then!

    i'd still like you to convince me why there is a need for a mum only group? What its purpose would be and how it would be better for not having dads as participants?
  • Theresa said:
    If some want to have a women only "mums group" this is unlikely to mean men are considered an inept accessory to parenting.
    From my experience of running groups in the NHS mothers can benefit from talking about themselves rather than focusing on their children, sharing experiences of birth, post natal depression etc. Dads groups can work in the same way, but there tends to be less discussion of sore nipples!
    In a mixed sex group conversation is more "social", or focused on the children. 
    It depends what people want from the group, and Daisy won't know that yet. 
    Sure... I get some of that... But also as an active, involved stay at home dad I also know what it is like not to talk to another adult all day (other than the supportive and fab staff in the co-op), I understand what it is like to be trying to educate and have anxieties over whether I'm getting it right or not, I know what it is like trying to plan meals and juggle chores.... 

    Did you read the blog post I shared? What I was saying is that it was a great soundbite from that blog that resonates with how I've been made to feel at times.

    NHS groups (and their health related outcomes) absolutely have their place and are there if needed... 

    I am learning and growing as a parent and can learn (and share) with the support of others... Male or female.

    the social elements of mixing with others are just as needed by dads too.
  • People should be aware that any new thread on the Forum automatically triggers a Facebook post. 

    However, the reverse does not apply: responding to it on Facebook does not automatically bring it to the attention of the Forum poster.
    If you see a new Forum post on FB please respond to it on the relevant Forum thread.
  • Marika said:
    People should be aware that any new thread on the Forum automatically triggers a Facebook post. 

    However, the reverse does not apply: responding to it on Facebook does not automatically bring it to the attention of the Forum poster.
    If you see a new Forum post on FB please respond to it on the relevant Forum thread.
    Thanks Marika. I'm aware of this and often let people who post comments on the Wivenhoe forum Facebook posts that they won't be seen by the original forum user unless they use the forum.

    This thread is not relating to a forum Facebook post.

    this was thread relates to the Wivenhoe Notice Board Facebook group where daisy posted a duplicate post to ensure as many people as possible were aware of her new group.

    my issue was that views were sought and I shared mine but was not responded to.... Yet another Facebook user was responded to.

    Daisy has explained that she is new to Facebook and somehow missed it... But thankfully we've been able to continue the discussion here.
  • Oops excuse the mistakes... I'm on a phone and finding the screen /auto typing an issue!
  • Marika, thanks for that, I didn't know it. Some of us aren't on FB so will not see to respond.  Speaking personally.
  • @Gloria, if it was first posted on the Forum you would see it here, and on the linked FB page if you do FB as well.

    If it was posted on both the Forum AND on an unrelated FB page then we'd get a situation as above.
  • I set up Wivenhoe Mums about 8 yrs ago. Reason was I did not want to tell the whole world I was taking my son down park , for a walk etc . I called it Wivenhoe Mums as it started up just being MY friend s . I would post things like Just going to park if anyone fancys meeting me etc .
    Then I would ask questions about child related bits and bobs in Wivenhoe .
    This group grew and grew  and beforeu knew it had over 200 members ( wish I had that many friends !!!).
    It all got out of control people tried to sell things etc etc 
    as my youngest one started  school  I had no need for baby classes etc .I handed it over to a friend as I was going to close it down but i got so many positive comments about it . Mums stopped me in street saying how they had met new friends etc.
    why was it called mums ?! As I said it was because  it started up as just my friend s in Wivenhoe I wanted to help new mums talk about  women things /worries without plastering it all over FB and getting unhelpful comments back.
    I was really pleased about how well it was used  and I'm pleased it's still going .
    sorry about long reply just defending my Baby !!!!!
  • So interesting, thanks Messy.  To apply to join the new mums group email wmchat+subscribe@googlegroups.com. 
  • messy said:
    I set up Wivenhoe Mums about 8 yrs ago. Reason was I did not want to tell the whole world I was taking my son down park , for a walk etc . I called it Wivenhoe Mums as it started up just being MY friend s . I would post things like Just going to park if anyone fancys meeting me etc .
    Then I would ask questions about child related bits and bobs in Wivenhoe .
    This group grew and grew  and beforeu knew it had over 200 members ( wish I had that many friends !!!).
    It all got out of control people tried to sell things etc etc 
    as my youngest one started  school  I had no need for baby classes etc .I handed it over to a friend as I was going to close it down but i got so many positive comments about it . Mums stopped me in street saying how they had met new friends etc.
    why was it called mums ?! As I said it was because  it started up as just my friend s in Wivenhoe I wanted to help new mums talk about  women things /worries without plastering it all over FB and getting unhelpful comments back.
    I was really pleased about how well it was used  and I'm pleased it's still going .
    sorry about long reply just defending my Baby !!!!!
    Absolutely no need to defend anything....

     I've joined ... And I need all the peer support you mentioned. In spades. It was made clear to me by the admin that ALL parents and carers are welcome. I've already found useful information and made useful contacts. I intend to capitalise on them! I'm enjoying and relishing my parenting responsibilities and I want to make the most of this precious time ... But yet it can be hard at times. The group you set up is s great tool to enable me to gain information, support and hopefully make friends ... It would be a shame to exclude me and other involved dads that need those networks... Just because of a name.  

    I'm a stay at home dad and want to be involved with the Wivenhoe parenting community, female or male... Makes no odds to me.

    your example of Going down the park is perfect... It's better for my son and I if we meet and get to know others.

    together we are stronger right?!
  • Glad that you have joined .
    l hope you find friends for yourself and little one . I moved to Wivenhoe 10 yrs ago with a 7 yr old , 5 yr old and I was 5 months pregnant. 
    I was lucky that my older boys were at school which is a great place to meet new people.  Once my 3rd boy was born I met others through baby massage etc and parent and toddler group.  
    Really just wanted to say in other post that the group was set up for my friend s who were mainly female at the time .
    KT  has brought the group into the 21st century !!!!!  I see she has changed the name so nobody is now excluded.  
    Enjoy your time with your little ones before you know it they are teenagers .
    mine are now 17,15 and 9!
    Regards from a stressed mother of 2 teenagers  !!!!!
  • messy said:
    Glad that you have joined .
    l hope you find friends for yourself and little one . I moved to Wivenhoe 10 yrs ago with a 7 yr old , 5 yr old and I was 5 months pregnant. 
    I was lucky that my older boys were at school which is a great place to meet new people.  Once my 3rd boy was born I met others through baby massage etc and parent and toddler group.  
    Really just wanted to say in other post that the group was set up for my friend s who were mainly female at the time .
    KT  has brought the group into the 21st century !!!!!  I see she has changed the name so nobody is now excluded.  
    Enjoy your time with your little ones before you know it they are teenagers .
    mine are now 17,15 and 9!
    Regards from a stressed mother of 2 teenagers  !!!!!
    I understand ... And I think I would have done the same... If it wasn't for the fact that I can see there are groups that now exist or as with this original post are emerging.

    In my early 40's I'm not a young dad and a bit late to the party. Thankfully I'm told that this is not that unusual in Wivenhoe... So I consider it 'fashionably late'.

    most of my existing friends have, like you, got older kids... Or kids that have flown the nest already. So I find myself in a fabulous but slightly out of step scenario with most of my oldest and dearest friends (many of whom aren't that local anyhoo!)

    we have a brill local friend (with older kids) who helped us (especially my other half) a lot early on, but I was still full time at work at that point. My partner is connected with NCT Mum's, did baby massage, baby peep etc... (Whilst on maternity leave).... So I think she feels the need slightly less than I do. She's also an amazing, naturally equipped ace new mum... which helps...

    I'm very much a 'modern man' (the term makes me want to vom!) but I, like a lot of us, feel like a kid trapped in an adults body, with adult responsibilities ( a baby... Yay!!! a baby... Eek! .... and I'm on a steeeeeeep learning curve.

    When I went part time at work and took on the 'daddy day care' role when my partner returned to employment... I found the local Toddler group and its been an absolute lifeline.

    Little fella and I have still only had a couple of play dates outside of the toddler group though.

    I'm hoping things will change and through the Facebook group and a new opportunity to volunteer with the toddler group we'll meet more people, have time for little bloke to play with peers and find networks and shared learning (vital) opportunities for me.

    I love Wivenhoe and I'm generally a pretty community minded sort of bloke... So want to make the most out of it.... I'm hoping I find others that will welcome and actively involve and include dads as it is clear from this thread, the one on Facebook and other messages I've recieved that there is a need and my experience is not a one off!

    so I certainly don't mean to come over all 'justice4dads' (bleuch) ... I'm much more about equality and inclusion I truly believe what I said above....

    Together we are stronger!
  • I know this is an old thread - but I hope its OK to post here. I am a mum, looking to moving to Wivenhoe soon, and I just wanted to say that I would be very interested in a mixed parenting group. My children are older however, so all the "sore nipple" type stuff is, thankfully, now a distant memory.

    I am in need of a parenting group with a focus on meeting other families for social/community & child-friendly activities to encourage our children get active outside, e.g. walking, kayaking, clearing paths, tidying woodlands. My children are aged 8 & 10, both boys - and too addicted to screen life! 

    Does anyone know of suitable groups/activities? I am a single mum, so I am not wealthy enough to pay for family sailing lessons etc.

    My kids don't want to go 'walking' with just mum - but if other kids are involved they will walk miles!
  • I feel your pain ARTHEART71!!!!!
    My 10 yr old is either watching TV or playing Wii games .Unfortunately this is the joys of modern life .
    Hope your move to Wivenhoe goes well . What school are they going too ?
    Wivenhoe is a great place to meet new friends.  I have been here 10 yrs and have made some lifelong friends .
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